Time to restart my Soul search again
Sometimes it´s best to go back to basics,
and even beyond them in return to the source of all things. Once in awhile you
might need to even reinvent the wheel, if it´s not working. Here´s what I
suggested myself to do…
Give yourself some time to readjust.
There´s a way of being so attached to what´s happening in this moment, that
it´s easy to lose the connection with yourself. It´s good to slow down, take
some time off from everything. Even small moments of being with yourself can
restore the balance to this moment, what you are, how you sense what´s
happening and how you react to the impulses surrounding you.
I´ve always scorned spiritual seeking,
thinking that I´m beyond it. To me, it has sounded like being unaware, seeking
something, instead of being there, alive and conscious in this very moment. I
remember being fond of a Salvador Dali quote: “I don´t search, I find.” That
was the way I wanted to think. Instead of lacking something, I wanted to see
the world as already being perfect, right the way it was. This moment includes
everything that is needed. I thought that the problems are created by the mind,
if there was a problem in this moment, then there´d have to be a solution.
This kind of thinking might induce a problem
in itself. It might create an unrealistic, egoistic point of view, which would
become an excuse for not committing, taking action, doing the hard work. It
could also create disregard towards real issues that need to be confronted. It
can lead you to closing your eyes and being in this pseudospiritual hype
existence, where you drift and don´t really commit to anything. I mean
freedom is cool but I´d vote for inner freedom, instead of escapism from outer
circumstances and responsibilities.
So how about giving the seeker a chance?
That means being open, giving up the prejudices and disposition towards staying
in your top dog worldview. Then
you can start descending to this moment, your true self and towards everything,
as it is. Our way of conceptualising is great, but we´re also clouded by our
illusionary concepts, that we, sadly, see as truth. So how about getting to the
start again? It takes a lot of courage to admit your mistakes. It takes a lot
of humility, to be there, honest and open with all your failures and rough
incompleteness. It means that you´re not trying to be any better and more
advanced than others. It reconnects you with people, you can relate with what
they´re going through.
Now, back to the seeker and finder. To be
able to be the finder, I have to be open to the seeker. Not to get lost in the
search, never finding what I´m looking for, lost in the endless voyage. The
voyage goes on, but I´m here. I have to give myself a moment of ease, relax
into my Soul search and accept the uniqueness of this moment. Just being there,
nothing added, nothing reduced, and open to this moment. The divine state of
not knowing is actually very liberating, when we´re there, I think we´re able
to reach out and touch others. Then we can formulate a perspective to the
situation, hold it for a moment and then release it. And after awhile, start
over again.